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Offline lamb  
#1 Posted : Wednesday, May 6, 2015 1:36:14 AM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/16/2009(UTC)
Posts: 1,048
Part of why I want to get plastic surgery is because I don't like how I look aesthetically. The other part is because I look like my aunt who I highly dislike. She is crude, loud, self-absorbed, ignorant, will have an entire conversation with you without asking one question, and physically unattractive in my opinion. Basically everything in a woman I don't want to be. It bothers me very much when people say how much we look alike and has my whole life. My grandmother (her mom) was another kook that I look like, both aged terribly, poor bone structure, fair skin, not taking care of diet/health. My mother, who has passed away, was beautiful (though she never thought so), with beautiful strong bones and symmetrical face.

I was just wondering if anyone here has had surgery for this reason, looking like someone in the family they dislike/detest?
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Offline Geijutsu  
#2 Posted : Wednesday, May 6, 2015 2:33:45 AM(UTC)
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Joined: 4/28/2012(UTC)
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It does creep up on me to be quite honest. My eye area reminds me in some of my relatives on my dad's side. I don't dislike them, I just associate it with the lifestyle, intellect they posses which sometimes bothers me when I catch a glance of it in the mirror or see it in pictures. Albeit my eyes are generally better looking than theirs overall, and I do get compliments once in a while that I have "nice eyes", so it occurred to me that it's all psychological; what I perceive as flaw is simply something that reminds me of someone that I don't necessarily aspire to look like for a several reasons, even though it's not necessarily rooted in objective aesthetics. I think that I've kind of gotten over it in the past year or so once I came to that conclusion. I'm able now to perceive my flaws more objectively, which is always a good thing I guess.

It's a little akin to how some people of ethnic backgrounds go out of their way to annihilate as much of what could give out their ethnicity, not because it's an objective a flaw, but because they don't like to be associated with it.

So I guess the question is, do you think it's an objective flaw, or is it a negative connotation?

Edited by user Wednesday, May 6, 2015 3:13:44 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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Offline Geijutsu  
#3 Posted : Wednesday, May 6, 2015 2:39:52 AM(UTC)
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Edited by user Wednesday, May 6, 2015 3:15:05 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Quoted myself instead of editing the above post.

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Offline Larazelle  
#4 Posted : Wednesday, May 6, 2015 6:45:01 AM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/12/2008(UTC)
Posts: 2,975
Originally Posted by: Geijutsu Go to Quoted Post
It does creep up on me to be quite honest. My eye area reminds me in some of my relatives on my dad's side. I don't dislike them, I just associate it with the lifestyle, intellect they posses which sometimes bothers me when I catch a glance of it in the mirror or see it in pictures. Albeit my eyes are generally better looking than theirs overall, and I do get compliments once in a while that I have "nice eyes", so it occurred to me that it's all psychological; what I perceive as flaw is simply something that reminds me of someone that I don't necessarily aspire to look like for a several reasons, even though it's not necessarily rooted in objective aesthetics. I think that I've kind of gotten over it in the past year or so once I came to that conclusion. I'm able now to perceive my flaws more objectively, which is always a good thing I guess.

It's a little akin to how some people of ethnic backgrounds go out of their way to annihilate as much of what could give out their ethnicity, not because it's an objective a flaw, but because they don't like to be associated with it.

So I guess the question is, do you think it's an objective flaw, or is it a negative connotation?


Hey Gei -

Could be a bit of both - However, if you really loved the person whose features you had, I doubt you would even "see" it as a flaw - my mother had a "beauty mole" above and to the right of her lips, which I thought was ugly, however it was a "family mole" - meaning all the women on her mothers side of the family had it - also my father loved her mole - she thought it was the best thing about her face - however every time I looked at it I was like Oh My God - lol - Beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder.

Offline Geijutsu  
#5 Posted : Wednesday, May 6, 2015 8:04:17 AM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Larazelle Go to Quoted Post
--------------
Hey Gei -

Could be a bit of both - However, if you really loved the person whose features you had, I doubt you would even "see" it as a flaw - my mother had a "beauty mole" above and to the right of her lips, which I thought was ugly, however it was a "family mole" - meaning all the women on her mothers side of the family had it - also my father loved her mole - she thought it was the best thing about her face - however every time I looked at it I was like Oh My God - lol - Beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder.



Speaking of beauty mole Lara. I always wondered whether the Cindy Crawford mole that everyone and their mother faked back in the 90s was really an attractive feature, or if it was simply because the mole has a positive association with a beautiful, international supermodel.

I mean it happens all the time thb, more so among women than men. There are lots of trends that come and ago that I found to be ugly but somehow the masses flocked and adopted them simply because it was a class or a status thing so it HAS to look good. Some sociological research argues that taste and class/status are intertwined, which doesn't surprise me seeing as to how trends come up to be in the first place.
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Offline lamb  
#6 Posted : Wednesday, May 6, 2015 11:56:08 AM(UTC)
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Joined: 2/16/2009(UTC)
Posts: 1,048
Thanks kindly for the insights Gei and Lara. I would say it's both, I have objective flaws (plural lol) and negative association with them. I agree about certain trends but I have too many flaws to pull that card off.
Offline Disco  
#7 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 7:26:34 AM(UTC)
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/9/2008(UTC)
Posts: 267
My dad is an unattractive man, inside and out, and my face is pretty much a carbon copy of his, with weak facial bones and close-set eyes. Knowing that I look like him definitely gives me grief, because of how much I dislike him. My sister however, has a facial structure exactly like my mum and her mum's (my grandma), who are both stunning, exquisite beauties.
Offline Larazelle  
#8 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 7:40:17 AM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/12/2008(UTC)
Posts: 2,975
Originally Posted by: Disco Go to Quoted Post
My dad is an unattractive man, inside and out, and my face is pretty much a carbon copy of his, with weak facial bones and close-set eyes. Knowing that I look like him definitely gives me grief, because of how much I dislike him. My sister however, has a facial structure exactly like my mum and her mum's (my grandma), who are both stunning, exquisite beauties.



HOW did you dad (with his wonderful inner/outer characteristics) get your mom to marry him???
Was he a better person many years ago?

Offline Geijutsu  
#9 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 8:44:22 AM(UTC)
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Man
Originally Posted by: Larazelle Go to Quoted Post
--------------
HOW did you dad (with his wonderful inner/outer characteristics) get your mom to marry him???
Was he a better person many years ago?



lol, that's a good question.
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Offline lamb  
#10 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 1:28:05 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/16/2009(UTC)
Posts: 1,048
I can relate Disco. It's definitely one of the main reasons why I am going to get surgery. Just yesterday i was at the gym glancing at the mirror and saw her face. i can't live looking like that.
Offline Sylvan  
#11 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 4:46:14 PM(UTC)
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/20/2013(UTC)
Posts: 311
I look a bit like my dad; I think I got most of the features I dislike most about my face from him. It isn't so much personality related, so much as I simply don't like the way they look on me.
Offline Disco  
#12 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 10:05:29 PM(UTC)
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/9/2008(UTC)
Posts: 267
I've asked my mum this quite a few times. To put it nicely, he was good at pretending to be someone he wasn't, and my mum was young and innocent with a heart of gold.

Thankfully, she left him, many many years ago!


Originally Posted by: Larazelle Go to Quoted Post
--------------
HOW did you dad (with his wonderful inner/outer characteristics) get your mom to marry him???
Was he a better person many years ago?



Offline Disco  
#13 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 10:16:59 PM(UTC)
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/9/2008(UTC)
Posts: 267
Lamb, I wonder if you'd still feel that way if your aunt was someone you considered physically attractive?

I'm sure that if my dad had an attractive facial structure and features which I in turn inherited, I'd be ok with looking like him. My dissatisfaction with my face is really only about the unattractiveness itself. Inheriting my unattractiveness from someone I dislike just makes it a more bitter pill to swallow.

Originally Posted by: lamb Go to Quoted Post
I can relate Disco. It's definitely one of the main reasons why I am going to get surgery. Just yesterday i was at the gym glancing at the mirror and saw her face. i can't live looking like that.


Offline lamb  
#14 Posted : Monday, May 18, 2015 11:24:04 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/16/2009(UTC)
Posts: 1,048
Interesting question, probably not. her features and her personality are both bad.she's also aged terribly like her mother (my grandmother who I also look like) and getting a look at that future is pretty terrifying.
Offline Disco  
#15 Posted : Tuesday, May 19, 2015 5:21:43 AM(UTC)
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/9/2008(UTC)
Posts: 267
I can relate... my dad's parents aged more poorly than my mum's (health and looks wise). They also had a gloomy outlook on life, unlike my mum's parents who were always positive. Genetics do play a huge role, but I believe looking after yourself, staying out of the sun, a diligent beauty routine and avoiding stress are also key... so there is hope for us both! :)
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