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I would characterise your look as androgynous - which encompasses both female and male traits. Like many others here, I prefer that to an overly femme fluffy look. Androgyny ages better too - as you have a strong bone structure.I get what people are saying about yr clothes. Dressing in a casual masculine way (v on trend) emphasises the wearer's femininity by contrast. Trash anything with sequins/satin/spandex - Julia Ione was spot on.
I agree you could if you really wanted to, do your nose. But you are not IMHO psychologically healthy enough to undergo surgery atm. Nor would it stop your feelings of worthlessness. To be at a point where after a negative comment "it makes me gets so depressed I don't work for a few days and lie in bed" says you need professional help to deal with your v low self-esteem and resistance to real change. Teaching is a tough profession. Negative comments are part of daily life - and not to be taken seriously. I bet it shows - the hurt - when these things are said, and then the kids know they've got you. Grow a thick skin or get out.
This is probably the most sophisticated, knowledgeable PS board in the world, and if the overwhelming majority say you're sickeningly good looking, you should pay attention.
Good luck with your inner changes.
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You're right, I don't show how I feel on the inside very often unless I'm close to people but it does bottle up. A picture is a moment. I hold a lot in. Also in some of the instances mentioned I AM wearing make up and have my hair down! I will say that in the same day I got that man comment I had another kid tell me I look like angelina jolie (which is off cuz I usually get julia roberts) so as you can understand I am very conflicted as angelina looks nothing like a man. My boyfriend says don't worry because I know I am a women but I want to be surre everyone else sees me as one too! He is surprisingly understanding of my wanting to surgery because he sees how it makes me suffer (and he witnessed the one incident himself) so I'm lucky there. Bugjune wrote:Well, LauraD, you 'n I are gals of a completely different stripe. I got over my "Hullo sir!" incident by just wearing a tad of makeup, throwing my hooded sweatshirt away, and NEVER slicking my hair back in a pony tail like that again. The incident was over in ONE day.
Thing is, you work among kids. They are KIDS! Kids are sometimes spacey and say things that would make ME laugh, but hurt YOU. You seem very sensitive to any remark about your looks. You seem to have a caring nature at your core, but it is in conflict with the totally coy, teasing persona you project in your photos. Look at YOU. The way you pose, dress, smile. That projects something at odds with your plea for help and advice in your posts here, is all I'm sayin'.
Like, I don't know if you're goin' or comin'!
The good news is, you got a lot of great suggestions here about hair color, dress (what colors you may want to avoid), and even features (brows). So take them with a grain of salt, but f'God's sake, DO something to fix your inner conflict. We probably can't help you out there.
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There is no way I can live a happy life looking androgynous. I want to look completely female, like I feel on the inside Amber wrote:I would characterise your look as androgynous - which encompasses both female and male traits. Like many others here, I prefer that to an overly femme fluffy look. Androgyny ages better too - as you have a strong bone structure.I get what people are saying about yr clothes. Dressing in a casual masculine way (v on trend) emphasises the wearer's femininity by contrast. Trash anything with sequins/satin/spandex - Julia Ione was spot on.
I agree you could if you really wanted to, do your nose. But you are not IMHO psychologically healthy enough to undergo surgery atm. Nor would it stop your feelings of worthlessness. To be at a point where after a negative comment "it makes me gets so depressed I don't work for a few days and lie in bed" says you need professional help to deal with your v low self-esteem and resistance to real change. Teaching is a tough profession. Negative comments are part of daily life - and not to be taken seriously. I bet it shows - the hurt - when these things are said, and then the kids know they've got you. Grow a thick skin or get out.
This is probably the most sophisticated, knowledgeable PS board in the world, and if the overwhelming majority say you're sickeningly good looking, you should pay attention.
Good luck with your inner changes.
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I think we have different interpretations of androgynous. I mean like the top models that were mentioned that were described as having a 'masculine' look. And Angelina Jolie - I would say she was androgynous. But you see her as completely female - which of course she is. Let me put it this way: androgynous female. You are a slightly androgynous-looking female, like most top models. Now could you be happy with that?
I stand by the rest of my post.
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[quote=Amber]I think we have different interpretations of androgynous. I mean like the top models that were mentioned that were described as having a 'masculine' look. And Angelina Jolie - I would say she was androgynous. But you see her as completely female - which of course she is. Let me put it this way: androgynous female. You are a slightly androgynous-looking female, like most top models. Now could you be happy with that? I stand by the rest of my post.[/quote Hi Amber... I guess I just feel insecure that Im masculine to the point of hearing comments. Maybe people are picking up on the androgynous features and making them seem worse than they are to be cruel. Who knows. I wonder what your thoughts are on this girl. I find her to be like me, pretty yet androgynous. Although she has mastered the pretty part a bit better hehe  .jpg)   
laurad attached the following image(s):
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Hey Laura, how many negative comments do you actually receive versus positive ones? Lets say you get 1 negative comment and 10 positive in a week, you are probably still genna focus on that one bad comment and ignore all the rest right? It's like you will dismiss anything that doesn't fit your deep set beliefs on how you look, no matter how many people tell you otherwise. You do not look masculine IMO. You do have a strong bone structure and striking features but in no way does that = masculine. If you do ANYTHING at all to your face it would be like others have suggested and just rotate the nose tip upwards a little....that's all, nothing more. You ARE a beautiful woman : )
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I think you look better than her. JMHO.
You DO NOT look masculine. There is a big difference between having a few - or one - masculine traits (stops the fluffy bunny look) and looking like a man.
How do you feel about therapy?
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Have you read Sammi's story here on the board? Maybe if you do, it will give you some perspective. When you have 'real' issues, I will be the first to reach out. Otherwise, I feel like Chris K and this is pretty much a lost cause. People ultimately do what THEY want to do. We can talk until we're blue in the face and it is not going to make a dent.
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. ~Socrates~ (I pretend to be a cat with a lime carved as a helmet on my head) 
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laurad wrote:
Hi thanks for your input. Maybe people need to see me in real life to see what these people are picking up on. Once last summer I walked by this Asian women sitting on the street and she yelled at me "Why are you dressed like that, youre a man!" and my boyfriend was with me. He was like excuse me? and she said she was talking to me. He got upset with her and she said "there are lots of them in my country like this"
That is three incidents in the span of a year. I also know I get way more compliments than average as well with strangers telling me Im pretty, so like I said I want to find a balance between "man" and "pretty". Obviously there is something there, that is not normal!!
Well, I have a 10yr. old and she will sometimes say *he for she*, *him instead of her*, especially if she is preoccupied with something else, so I don't see that as any big deal. Kids are only focused on themselves anyway. I would be annoyed though with that asian lady! LOL I am guessing you are in your early thirties? IMO, you do have a somewhat angular look going on though and as you age, that could play a role in making you look older than you actually are. Try and maintain a healthy weight so as to keep the facial fat you have.
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laurad wrote:[quote=Amber]I think we have different interpretations of androgynous. I mean like the top models that were mentioned that were described as having a 'masculine' look. And Angelina Jolie - I would say she was androgynous. But you see her as completely female - which of course she is. Let me put it this way: androgynous female. You are a slightly androgynous-looking female, like most top models. Now could you be happy with that? I stand by the rest of my post.[/quote Hi Amber... I guess I just feel insecure that Im masculine to the point of hearing comments. Maybe people are picking up on the androgynous features and making them seem worse than they are to be cruel. Who knows. I wonder what your thoughts are on this girl. I find her to be like me, pretty yet androgynous. Although she has mastered the pretty part a bit better hehe Its her chin, she has a very masculine chin.
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laurad wrote:[quote=Amber]I think we have different interpretations of androgynous. I mean like the top models that were mentioned that were described as having a 'masculine' look. And Angelina Jolie - I would say she was androgynous. But you see her as completely female - which of course she is. Let me put it this way: androgynous female. You are a slightly androgynous-looking female, like most top models. Now could you be happy with that? I stand by the rest of my post.[/quote Hi Amber... I guess I just feel insecure that Im masculine to the point of hearing comments. Maybe people are picking up on the androgynous features and making them seem worse than they are to be cruel. Who knows. I wonder what your thoughts are on this girl. I find her to be like me, pretty yet androgynous. Although she has mastered the pretty part a bit better hehe ***** Yeah, I've been hearing this same story for years, too. I think the above statement pretty much covers what the real problem is, Laura. Get some therapy for your *not external* issues.
Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn’t have the slightest idea what’s really going on. Kurt Vonnegut
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Sue wrote:
Well, I have a 10yr. old and she will sometimes say *he for she*, *him instead of her*, especially if she is preoccupied with something else, so I don't see that as any big deal. Kids are only focused on themselves anyway. I would be annoyed though with that asian lady! LOL I am guessing you are in your early thirties? IMO, you do have a somewhat angular look going on though and as you age, that could play a role in making you look older than you actually are. Try and maintain a healthy weight so as to keep the facial fat you have.
I am going to be blunt. Tell you why the asian woman yelled at you like that....now your rather obtuse so I am going to shout it. IT IS BECAUSE YOU DRESS LIKE A TRANNY HOOKER/CALL GIRL. RED HAIR THAT IS EITHER MAROON OR BRASSY + TIGHT CORSET TOP SHORT DRESSES IN EITHER VELVET SPANDEX OR RED SATIN spandex - LOOKS LIKE A THAI TRANNY HOOKER. If i saw you on the street I would not think knockout or beautiful to be quite honest. I would think potential to be "stunning" - if you were styled head to toe. YOU ARE TIRESOME AND I AGREE WITH CHRISK. 1-CHANGE THE HAIR 2-CHANGE THE EYE BROWS 3-FIX YOUR NOSE 3-THROW OUT ALL YOUR CLOTHES ESP "GOING OUT" CLOTHES *****ABOVE ALL GET YOURSELF A CBT THERAPIST!!!! YOU ARE A ENERGY VAMPIRE.
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laurad wrote:[quote=Amber]I think we have different interpretations of androgynous. I mean like the top models that were mentioned that were described as having a 'masculine' look. And Angelina Jolie - I would say she was androgynous. But you see her as completely female - which of course she is. Let me put it this way: androgynous female. You are a slightly androgynous-looking female, like most top models. Now could you be happy with that? I stand by the rest of my post.[/quote Hi Amber... I guess I just feel insecure that Im masculine to the point of hearing comments. Maybe people are picking up on the androgynous features and making them seem worse than they are to be cruel. Who knows. I wonder what your thoughts are on this girl. I find her to be like me, pretty yet androgynous. Although she has mastered the pretty part a bit better hehe Emma Watson has : full brows. natural looking hair color, minimal makeup and doesn't DRESS like a THAI TRANNY HOOKER. There is your MASTER CLASS>
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Listen to Chris K and Julia I would pay good money for their style advice!
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Lucyview wrote:Listen to Chris K and Julia I would pay good money for their style advice!
ah thank you. julia has great eye. not to mention she has the best hollywood gossip. and you get a sense its accurate.
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i'd like to make this thread about me and julia now.
its no longer laurad's thread.
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laura,
I think you are more attractive than the photo of the gal you posted. I don't mind that kind of nose because that kind of nose orientation makes the upper lip look SHORTER. It's not really a 'hook' nose tip. It' s just downwardly rotated but that's not a really all bad thing.
You are always WAY BETTER LOOKING than the people you POSE with and NO WAY do I think you look 'like a guy'. Angelina Jolie is considered as having somewhat 'masculine' JAW but it WORKS for her in balance with her other features that are 'femme'.
As to your clothes, I'm not a fashion maven so really can't say. You fit them well though and have a nice femme shape.
To others: Laura has been having these type of 'episodes' for years where she thinks she looks 'masculine' and the variety of responses she gets to that play out basically in same 'sampling' of responses she gets here.
Concord MA celebrating freedom from British rule .
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More to the point if one is secure with their gender identity, questions of appearance become less vital.
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Julia Ione wrote:
I am going to be blunt. Tell you why the asian woman yelled at you like that....now your rather obtuse so I am going to shout it.
IT IS BECAUSE YOU DRESS LIKE A TRANNY HOOKER/CALL GIRL. RED HAIR THAT IS EITHER MAROON OR BRASSY + TIGHT CORSET TOP SHORT DRESSES IN EITHER VELVET SPANDEX OR RED SATIN spandex - LOOKS LIKE A THAI TRANNY HOOKER.
If i saw you on the street I would not think knockout or beautiful to be quite honest. I would think potential to be "stunning" - if you were styled head to toe.
YOU ARE TIRESOME AND I AGREE WITH CHRISK.
1-CHANGE THE HAIR
2-CHANGE THE EYE BROWS
3-FIX YOUR NOSE
3-THROW OUT ALL YOUR CLOTHES ESP "GOING OUT" CLOTHES
*****ABOVE ALL GET YOURSELF A CBT THERAPIST!!!! YOU ARE A ENERGY VAMPIRE.
Ok, well, I guess Julia just tied up all the loose ends! LOL
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she is an energy vampire. all her post (historically) have been about her and this same song & dance. not much to contribute except this masculine face saga.
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